The Human Skill AI Can't Copy: Connecting With an Audience
The jury is in.
We ARE different from AI.
I heard a fabulous metaphor in an interview the other day.
The speaker began with the slightly dangerous statement:
“Not all nurses are nice.”
He then added:
“But all nurses care.”
Now, I suspect most of us have had an experience that confirms this. A nurse may be brisk, tired, distracted or simply not particularly interested in winning Miss Congeniality. But underneath it all, their job is built around care.
Then came the killer line. AI is the opposite.
AI may be nice. But it does not care.
It can sound sympathetic. It can produce elegant sentences. It can tell you that your idea is fascinating, your strategy is thoughtful and, presumably, your new haircut is magnificent.
But it doesn’t care.
And therein lies our advantage.
Because one of the most important things we do as human beings and particularly as leaders is manage the emotional and psychological state of other people.
I had this conversation recently with a coaching client from an engineering background. I explained that one of his major jobs when running a meeting was not simply to get through the agenda.
It was to manage the psychological state of the room.
There was a pause. Fair enough.
I don’t imagine there was a subject called Psychological Management of People Who Would Rather Be Somewhere Elsein his engineering degree.
But this is the reality of leadership.
You have to connect.
And I see the same problem on stage.
Many speakers launch into presentations with a beautifully rehearsed story. Perhaps there is a joke. Perhaps there is a dramatic pause. Perhaps we hear about the life-changing moment when they missed a train in Copenhagen.
It can all be perfectly polished.
But they haven’t connected with the people sitting in front of them.
They are performing at the audience, rather than communicating with them.
Most business presentations are not TED Talks.
You are usually there because you want something to happen.
You want people to understand something, believe something, decide something, change something or actually do something.
And for that, you need rapport.
Which brings me to one of the simplest communication techniques available.
Flattery
Yes, flattery.
Before you recoil in horror, I am not suggesting you sidle up to the CEO and whisper, “Have I ever mentioned how magnificent your hair looks under fluorescent lighting?”
I mean genuine, specific recognition.
Here are three places to use it.
In presentations
Before launching into your content, notice the people in front of you.
Comment on something real.
Perhaps they have travelled a long way.
Perhaps they have turned up in person rather than joining online.
Perhaps they are remarkably cheerful for 8.00 am.
Perhaps they are simply all there on time, which in some organisations deserves a standing ovation.
Acknowledge them.
Then keep reconnecting throughout the presentation.
Ask a question.
Get a show of hands.
Invite a reaction.
Reference something happening in the room.
Because engagement is not something you establish in the first three minutes and then pop into storage.
It has to be continually renewed.
In interviews
Walk into the room and yes, you guessed it — find something positive to say.
Not fake.
Not grovelling.
Not embarrassing.
Just human.
Then, by all means, be brilliant.
But brilliance lands much more effectively when people already feel comfortable with you.
You may be detecting a theme here.
Flattery. Flattery. Flattery.
Or, if the word makes you uncomfortable, call it recognition.
Notice people.
Acknowledge them.
Make them feel that you are actually speaking with them rather than merely delivering content in their general direction.
AI can produce the words.
You have something far more powerful.
You can care about the person receiving them.
So start practising today.
Look up.
Notice someone.
Say something positive.
And connect.
Love,
Dr Louise Mahler