The Myth of Executive Presence: Confidence, Loudness and Skill

“The most confident person in the room is sometimes the least qualified to be… And we keep handing them the microphone. The person who speaks first, or is the loudest and/or the fastest, tends to win the room. We tend to read their certainty as competence. We go as far as to call it executive presence.”

— Unidentified LinkedIn comment

As they used to say on the Year 12 exam paper:

Please discuss.

I read this on LinkedIn and became concerned.

Actually, let’s not pretend. It riled me.

Because bundled into those few sentences are several assumptions about extroversion, confidence, loudness, competence and executive presence — as though they are all variations of the same thing.

They are not.

And because these statements are posted on LinkedIn, repeated, liked and passed around as wisdom, I think we need to untangle them.

It’s not rocket science. As my Grade 1 teacher might have said: put on your thinking cap.

First: extroversion

Extroversion is a personality trait. Broadly, it describes a tendency towards social engagement, stimulation, assertiveness and interaction with others.

It does not mean shouting over everybody at the board table.

It does not mean arrogance.

And it certainly does not mean incompetence.

Extroverts may think things through by talking them through. Introverts may prefer to process internally before speaking. Neither is morally superior.

Extroversion is not the problem.

Second: confidence

Confidence is a belief in your capacity to handle something.

Ideally, it comes from knowledge, preparation, experience and skill. 

Confidence does not have a fixed volume setting. 

A confident person may speak loudly. 

A confident person may speak softly. 

A deeply unconfident person may also speak loudly because they are desperately filling every available cubic centimetre of oxygen in the room. 

You cannot diagnose confidence from decibels. 

Confidence is not the problem.

Third: loudness

Loudness is volume. 

That’s it. 

And volume is an extraordinarily useful communication tool when used appropriately. 

If you are speaking to 600 people and they cannot hear you, whispering delicately into your collarbone is not evidence of sophisticated leadership. You need vocal range. 

Sometimes you need softness. Sometimes you need power. Sometimes you need silence. 

The skill is not being loud or quiet. 

The skill is choice.

So extroversion, confidence and loudness are three different things. They can occur together, but one does not prove the existence of another. 

That matters. 

Because once we start making lazy correlations, we stop observing behaviour accurately. 

And then we start giving people equally lazy feedback: 

“You’re too loud.” 

“You talk too fast.” 

“You need more confidence.” 

“You need more executive presence.” 

What does any of that actually mean? 

If somebody is dominating a meeting, say they are dominating the meeting. 

If they are rambling without structure, say their message needs structure. 

If they are speaking beyond their knowledge, challenge the content. 

If they constantly interrupt others, address the interruptions. 

These are observable behaviours. They can be identified. They can be practised. They can be changed. That is far more useful than diagnosing somebody as an “overconfident extrovert” from the other end of the table.

In Gravitas, I talk about something far more important: congruence.

Does the voice match the message? 

Does the body support the intention? 

Is the thinking clear? 

Is there a framework behind the words? 

Does the person know their material? 

Can they adapt to the room? 

Can they listen as well as speak? 

Can they be powerful without steamrolling everyone in their path? 

That is communication skill. 

That is very different from simply being the loudest person with access to a microphone. So, back to our LinkedIn examination paper.

Statement:

“The most confident person in the room is sometimes the least qualified to be… And we keep handing them the microphone.”

My response:

Well, who keeps handing them the microphone?

Leadership also means managing the room.

Statement:

“The person who speaks first or is the loudest and/or fastest tends to win the room.”

My response:

There may actually be a lesson hiding in there.

Speaking first can demonstrate initiative. Pace can create energy. Volume can command attention.

Learn to use them.

Please don’t respond by deciding everyone should become smaller, slower and quieter.

Statement:

“We tend to read their certainty as competence.”

My response:

Only if we are not paying attention.

Certainty may grab our attention initially. Competence has to survive the next five minutes.

Statement:

“We go as far as to call it executive presence.”

My response:

I don’t.

But then, who am I to say?

Tee hee.

The danger here is not confident people.

The danger is our inability to distinguish confidence from noise, presence from dominance, and communication skill from personality.

And if we are going to lead people well, that distinction matters enormously.

Because the answer is not to silence the confident person.

It is to become much better at recognising what good communication actually looks and sounds like.

Follow me and join my programs to find out more.

Love,
Dr Louise Mahler