A Love–Hate Relationship with Body Language (Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m globally ranked #13 in it)
Let me start with a story.
Recently, my son told me he’d received feedback at work:
“You need more leadership ability and stakeholder engagement.”
Right.
And what exactly does that mean?
Can you do anything with that?
Nope. You might as well tell someone to be more “sparkly” or “less beige.”
And yet this is exactly the problem with so much communication advice we give and receive.
The Curse of Buzzword Body Language
I was asked to run a program recently on “pitch, pace, and volume.”
Lovely words. Very coach-y.
Totally useless if you want actual change.
Which is ironic, because—brace yourself—I am ranked #13 in the world for Body Language.
(Yes, I’m proud. And yes, that’s out of a LOT of competitors.)
But here’s the shocker:
Body language is the bane of my existence.
Why?
Because people think it’s a behaviour-change manual.
It’s not.
Fun Fact: Body Language Is Younger Than You Think
The term body language didn’t even exist before the 1970s.
Julius Fast wrote a book called Body Language in 1970.
Australians got their version via Allan Pease.
So the entire field—at least in its modern pop-culture form—is about 50 years old.
Our belief in it, however, is biblical.
The Problem Nobody Talks About
Body language is the study of perception.
Not action.
Not transformation.
Perception.
It tells you what people see.
It does NOT tell you how to change what you do.
Take voice. The stereotypical “leader voice” is:
✔️ Low pitch
✔️ Loud volume
✔️ Slow pace
Outdated? Yes.
Actionable? Barely.
Sustainable under pressure? Absolutely not.
Try holding a lower pitch for more than 30 seconds.
Try slowing your pace when you’re nervous and your heart is auditioning for Riverdance.
Try getting louder when your throat is tight and your tongue feels like a brick.
It’s like being told to “stand confidently” while you’re internally having a small existential crisis.
Pointless.
My favourite ridiculous phrase in the field:
“Leadership is heard in the voice: warm enough to trust, strong enough to follow.”
What does that even mean?
If someone can explain how to apply it in real life, I’ll eat my hat (and I like my hats).
So Where Do We Go From Here?
Personally, I went backwards.
Hundreds of years backwards.
I leaned into my singing training - degrees, decades, the lot.
Then I studied ancient voice practices in my PhD.
I wrote Resonate (on voice), then Gravitas (on the ancient advice).
Because, before body language was a buzzword, the ancients already had the answers:
Aristotle
Cicero
Quintilian
They wrote extensive, detailed, actionable guidance on voice, breath, and presence.
And unlike “speak with warmth and authority,” these methods actually work.
You’re a Sound Bowl — Yes, Really
Forget “change your pitch.”
Forget “speak slower.”
Forget “project your voice.”
Think of yourself as a sound bowl.
A bowl doesn’t try to sound different.
It creates resonance when its structure is free and clear.
Your voice is the same.
It isn’t something to manipulate.
It is something to release.
Real Voice Work = Body Work
There are three stages:
Become aware of what blocks your sound
Learn how to release those blocks
Practice until your voice is effortless
That’s not body language.
That’s body work.
And that’s where transformation actually happens.
Love,
Dr Louise Mahler